Top 5 Reasons Sarah Palin Would Make a Great VP

#5: Having spent the past year and a half governing a state whose population is nearly as large as Columbus, Ohio's, she is a seasoned leader well prepared to lead this nation during a time of war, balance the budget and resolve the economic crisis, keep America safe from terrorism, and meet the global challenge of climate change!

#4: In her entire twenty-one months as governor of Alaska, she has only come under investigation for ethical violations twice so far!

#3: She has demonstrated integrity and character by only lying about her office's involvement in said ethical dilemma a few times, and by more or less ceasing to lie about that as soon as the incriminating tape recordings were leaked to the press!

#2: She's tough on polar bears!

#1: She might help stop McCain from using the "C" word in public!

Bidenfest, a.k.a., I'm Gonna Get My Party On

I'm not entirely sure what "I'm gonna get my party on" means, but it sounds enthusiastic, at least as sung in the English-language chorus of the Reggaeton hit currently on heavy rotation on my iPod. And now Reggaeton has a song specifically about Obama! Yes! Si! Como se llama... Obama... Obama... Excuse me while I cha-cha. And as a further expression of Hispanitude, I must share this fantastic Mariachi song, Viva Obama 2008. The hats alone are so magnificent they should be in the Smithsonian.

Anyway, I'm going strictly on gut feeling in this election. Obama had me at hello--I saw him on TV last year, a few snippets of him talking, and was like, "Yep, he's the man. I don't know what his policies are, but I'm sure they're fine. He's it!" Then I spent the primary season anxiously riding the roller coaster of Hillary's onslaught, alternating between indignant rage ("Get out of the way, Hillary--can't you see he's The One?!") and appreciation ("Thank you, O Hillary, for turning Obama into a dragonslayer--you are a far greater adversary than anything the GOP can muster.").

And because the last two elections left me a weeping, dribbling emotional basket case (flashback: mutely making and donning a black armband after Gore conceded; sobbing on my bed after Kerry conceded), I chose to mostly ignore the thing this year. I couldn't have picked Obama's VP options out of a photo lineup; I couldn't even have named more than one or two of them. So then he picks Biden, and I'm like, who? So I went online to take a look at the guy.
And there it is, the gut feeling: there's something absolutely right about him. If I may lapse into hippy-speak, the energy he brings is absolutely right. It fits perfectly. Yesterday at the gym--a place I never used to go, but then I never used to be a lawyer, i.e. a member of one of the most sedentary professions in existence--anyway, yesterday at the gym, where several TVs are arrayed in front of the workout machines and you can plug your headphones into whatever channel you want, I was grinning like an idiot on the cross trainer as I watched the news. Not because they were saying anything interesting--they might've been, but I was busy rocking out with my iPod--but because they kept replaying scenes of Biden jogging across the stage in Springfield, Illinois. And man, that energy--he just blows McCain right out of the water.

So, having now actually read some articles about the dude, here's the intellectualized version of what I mean: not only does Biden mesh brilliantly with Obama (youth and vision plus wisdom and experience--what more can you ask for?), he demolishes John McCain's entire argument. He just plain neuters the man. Like so:
McCain: Vote for me because I'm experienced and Obama's not!
Obama-Biden: Thanks, John--actually, we've got that covered. Joe not only has been in the Senate far longer than you have, he's the Chair of the Foreign Relations Committee and is close friends with leading statesmen worldwide, including several from countries that you, in your raging ignorance, would probably have trouble even finding on a map. Did I mention that last week, President Saakashvili of Georgia called Joe up to see if he could help take care of that whole war with Russia thing?
McCain: Um... vote for me because... Obama's too young and liberal!
Obama-Biden: Did you say something? Sorry, when you speak in that angry, desperate tone, your voice gets squeaky and I have trouble understanding you. Anyway, as you can see, we combine youth and vision with wisdom and experience. In contrast, you're just plain old.
McCain: Vote for me because I, reassuringly, am a grey-haired white guy with a normal-sounding name!
Obama-Biden: Thanks, but Joe's got that covered. And actually, John, your hair's white with age, and you sometimes grip the podium as if it's all that's keeping you from falling over. In contrast, watch as Joe jogs vigorously around the stage shaking hands with people, smiling with seasoned confidence, radiating a calm virility.
McCain: Vote for me because if you don't, I'll start screaming and my head will explode!!!!!!

So marvelous. I'm going to go cha-cha some more. Como se llama... Joe-Bama... Joe-Bama...