Friday, October 28, 2005

Cat Broadens Her Horizons

Le Monde reports today that some employees of Raflatac, a company in northern France that manufactures self-adhesive labels, opened a shipping crate of paper products they'd ordered from Wisconsin and found a live tabby cat inside. According to the tag on her collar, her name is Emily and she's from Appleton. She had survived three weeks at sea, apparently by eating a mouse or two that got into the shipping crate. Her owners were ecstatic to hear the news. I'm trying to imagine this: a phone call from the export manager at Raflatac, who probably sounds like Inspector Clouseau. "Allo, Madame? I am calling from Alsace-Lorraine in France. It seems we have discovered your cat in a shipping container."

France? My cat's in fucking FRANCE? Well, that explains why we haven't had any response to the "Lost Cat" posters we stapled to telephone poles around the neighborhood.

Emily has to spend thirty days in quarantine before she can be sent home. Oh, the hassle of being an illegal immigrant. One of Raflatac's employees explained, "Now we have to see if the cat can go home by herself or if someone will have to go with her, and who will pay for the plane ticket. My colleagues and I are ready to pool our money to make sure she gets back to her owners."

Thursday, October 20, 2005

"Forests are Much Better Off Without Trees...

...according to the best scientists in the lumber industry."
That and much, much more from the finest website to come along in at least a few days, Become Republican. Visit it now for a refreshing whiff of sanity.