Monday, February 25, 2008

Update on My Latest Opinions (Excellence #4)

I Heart: Daniel Day Lewis and his wife, Rebecca Miller.
Greatest (and most gorgeous) actor on the face of the earth shows up at the Oscars in pirate earrings, brown suede shoes and a tie that looks like a dead bat. The Missus is upholstered in the mourning clothes of a Wild West brothel-keeper, her chest and shoulders for some reason festooned with Christmas bows. What can I say? I love these people. Repeat after me: "What-evah! I'll wear what I want!"

I Heart: Tilda Swinton.
As stated previously. This time, I heart her for wearing some sort of Addams Family muu-muu to the Oscars and giving one of the most genuinely witty acceptance speeches I've ever heard (I'm thinking particularly of her affectionate teasing of George Clooney). She even managed to work the words "buttocks" and "nipples" into it. Enjoy the clip.

The Problem With Hillary

Loved this woman ten-twelve years ago. Utterly disillusioned now. She's doing fine in the Senate--I can't go higher than "fine" because of her vote for the Iraq war--and she'd no doubt be great in the Cabinet of some future administration. But the problem with Hillary is that she's auditioning for the wrong role. She's not the future president; we in this country don't elect people with her personality. We want the sunny optimist at least, and if possible--if one's available in an election year--we want the visionary leader. This is not because she's a woman; it's not only women who have to choose between being competent and being likable--look at Bush, look at Reagan, look at Quayle for god's sake. Apparently millions of people find them likable, would have them over for a barbecue, etc. etc., but they're not what you'd call competent. And look at Cheney: quite competent at his evil workings, but universally disliked (and rightly so). For whatever reason, American voters want the sunny optimist; if that candidate is also competent, or if there's a package deal including a competent VP, that's a great bonus. But the main thing we want is hope.

Does Hillary radiate hope? Jesus god, not at all. Sure, she's pretty, she's golden-haired, she has a big smile. But in her aura is a constant undertone of bitterness and intense ambition--not what you'd call a likable vibe. So Hillary is not the future president. But here's what she is, or could be, if she'd accept it: she's the Democratic equivalent of Karl Rove or Condoleeza Rice, the pit bull attack dog who combines ferocious protection of the administration's priorities with devious back-room political strategizing that gets the damn job done. This is a compliment: we need someone like that. We need it badly. And I can't think of a better person for the job. She showed her chops recently with her despicable anti-Obama tactics. To recap, she blitzed him with the harshest criticisms for, among other things, correctly stating in a campaign mailing that she used to be a big NAFTA supporter. In other words she publicly shamed him for telling the truth. If that's not a Karl Rove tactic, I don't know what is. So, yes: with Obama for president and Hillary accepting her true calling as the Democrats' Karl Rove, we'd win by a landslide.