Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Lawyer Lunch Adventure #1

The scene: a busy, gritty city street. On a wide dirty sidewalk I am walking to lunch (at 3PM--busy day). It's overcast, and chilly for May. I've got nothing but roast chicken on my mind.

The characters: me, looking incredibly square in my wool overcoat and glasses. Some homeless people, not looking square at all--if I had to pick a shape, I'd say they look squiggly. Various young African-American people looking very street: the guys in do-rags and baggy clothes, the women with hair extensions that echo the plumage of tropical birds and jeans that appear to have been spray-painted on. One of these men is hanging out on the sidewalk holding up a gold necklace, which evidently is for sale.

The moment: two men are ambling up the sidewalk that I'm ambling down. I glance at the one nearest me, and vice-versa; we make eye contact. And I realize, Holy shit, that's [name removed for legal reasons], my pro bono client's ex--which is to say, that's the felon with a warrant out for his arrest, who everyone thought had left the state. And I think, Fuck, I hope he didn't recognize me. And due to my paranoia on that point, I don't turn around to get another look at him, which makes me one of the more useless witnesses in American legal history when I dial 911 on my cell phone:
Me-Hi, I just saw [name removed] at [location]. There's a warrant out for his arrest, so I thought I should call.
911 Operator-Okay, thank you, ma'am. You say he's at [location]? What is he wearing?
Me-...Uhhhh...
I ultimately was able to inform her that he was wearing, quote, "casual clothes." Well, that narrows it down. I could've described his face in detail--it is, as they say, burned into my memory--but a description of the exact slope of his jaw is, I guess, not useful to the cops out on patrol.

The aftereffects: the sight of him startled me so much that my eyes remained stuck in the "wide open" position for the next half hour.