Saturday, August 12, 2006

Tarts, Where Are Your Hearts?

Will someone please tell me what the hell is wrong with some women? This says it all: How to Find a Rich Husband. (Translation: "how to be a prostitute, but without the social stigma.") I don't see any web sites about how to find a brilliant, funny, strong, warm, protective, sexy, loyal husband--why is that? Surely that's much harder, so we need all the help we can get in the search...

Anyway, here's my money manifesto, in the unlikely event that anyone cares:
  1. Don't waste your time on this earth: either work at a job you really care about, or find a way to pay your bills while doing what you love on the side. So my man-finding website would be called, "how to find a man who's a competent, fulfilled adult," i.e., who has found a way to both do what he loves and pay for his own life. If his income dictates that his life be rather spartan, so be it: better a low-earning happy man than a rich asshole. If you want more money, earn it yourself.
  2. "From each according to his abilities," as the Marxists say--a.k.a., seriously, do NOT waste your time on this earth: if I earn twice as much as my eventual husband, as seems likely, then I should pay two-thirds of the bills. Why? Because money is arbitrary; only time is real. If I pay only half the bills, and, say, it takes me five days of my life to pay half the mortgage each month, then it'll take him ten. That wouldn't be fair. What couples should split down the middle is time, not money.
  3. Quit using divorce as a way of avenging your disappointment by financially raping the one who disappointed you. Alimony makes sense when a couple has kids or has been together twenty years, but what's with these bimbos and toy boys (e.g., Liz Taylor's weird ex, the handyman) who want a pile of cash just because they lived with a rich person for a few years?
Okay, that's my rant of the day. Now back to real life: a sunny afternoon, roses outside, and (oh god no!) more Japanese to learn.

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