Haplotype V

So, in April, in a bid to simultaneously help out National Geographic's latest research efforts and explore my genealogical heritage in more depth, I forked over $107.50 and sent them a cheek swab with which to analyze my mitochondrial DNA. And the results are now in! Using the latest gene-sequencing techniques, National Geographic has cleverly deduced that I am of... wait for it... Western European heritage! They're thinking kinda more to the northern side of Western Europe.

Amazing! At last I understand why I'm white, why I have a bunch of Irish cousins, and what's up with all these Irish, Scottish and Welsh surnames on my mom's side of the family tree! Oh, the marvels of modern science. Thanks to National Geographic, I now have a printed certificate that says I'm white, or, to use the fancy, DNA-related term, I'm "haplotype V." There's also a tricolor map showing that my ancestors started out, like everyone's ancestors, around the middle of East Africa; then they cruised north for about 4000 miles, took a sharp left just after the Black Sea, and headed west-northwest into Europe. (Just like the ancestors of every Caucasian on earth.) Wow! Who knew!

*Ahem*. Excuse the sarcasm, but I thought for $107.50 modern genetic analysis could go into a little more detail...